How to forgive yourself

How to forgive yourself

There are people, in this world, who can’t forgive themselves, and that’s the thing that stops them from going forward. What are the things that stop them? Why can’t they move forward? A lot of factors are involved here, like thoughts, negative beliefs, their past, other people in their surrounding…

Watch this youtube video about self forgiveness

The thing that might be keeping you in the same place or that is moving you backwards could definitely be forgiveness. We are talking here about forgiveness that you may not be giving yourself,  not forgiveness you give others.

So how can you forgive yourself? 
The most important thing to understand is that since you were born, you were always doing the best you can. At anytime and any situation. So thinking about the things you’ve already done, with your actual perspective and state of mind (as someone who doesn't forgive) will not get you any positive results. 
So what do we do now?  
we adopt a new perspective and outlook to life, in the present, right now, we are completely different people, we have changed, our experiences have changed us, time has changed us too, we have a different way of looking at things. So why do we keep looking at the past? We are not the same people we were back then. 
When you realize this fact, you will understand that you actually don’t have anything to forgive to yourself for, simply because you haven’t done anything "wrong"- you did the best you could at that moment. In every possible situation, you did the best you knew.

For example, let's consider a relation between a parent and a child. The parent, might observe that their grown up child is doing immoral or unethical or simply bad things and think that  being harsh didn’t help in  raising their child in a good way. However, how could they find that out? if not from their own experience.. They needed the experience with those mistakes in order to figure out that this was not the best way to raise a child.

Wondering, regretting, or crying over the things you’ve done, don’t make sense now. Now that nothing can be changed, you can’t go back in time and change the past. If you knew the things you know now, you would NOT have done a lot of mistakes. But since you did not know, then they were inevitable.

So forgive yourself by knowing that you did something thinking that it’s the best in that moment. Nobody is born bad, or even a criminal. Somebody or something, at some point in life made them that way.

If you have injured someone, that could have just been your way of crying for help, like a screaming for attention. The person who is frustrated, the person who worries about something, has a deep need to transfer that pain from self to the other, to injure, humiliate or to hurt another person in order to feel better. The deep  motivation for hurting somebody else was actually to feel better yourself. 
BUT this does not mean that it was a good thing to do, and you did deserve a punishment for it.

But anyway, when you understand this, you will understand that you were always doing the best you could in the specific moment and that’s the very first step in the process of forgiving yourself. 
If you once caused pain to someone, what is stopping you today from apologizing and saying sorry? It's mostly your Ego. And if  the Ego is stopping you, then you are still choosing  to be "right" than to be at peace.

If you’ve made some mistakes in the past, or you just think you’ve done something wrong, go and fix it if you can. Then, you will be able to forgive yourself.
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